Daddy asked and had a full body massage by a neighbor coz he was feeling sluggish. He was on leave from work. He was sick. Actually he was on and off the doctor in months. He was given lots of medications. One time he said to me, he was getting tired of those medicines he was taking. He could no longer taste the food he was eating and every time he breath he could smell those medicines.
15 November... Daddy was struggling to hold the spoon. He was shaking a lot. I need to feed him for the first time. We were having dinner. He did not finish his food. He said he was not that hungry anyway. After dinner, had to prepare my two older kids to bed. Then I started ironing my eldest son's uniform for school. My mother was helping Daddy to calm down. He was feeling hot but his feet were so cold like ice. Had to iron a cloth to make it warm and gave it to Mommy to put it to Daddy's feet so it will get warm or back to normal temperature. Daddy was starting to panic. He said he could hardly breath. We called Aunty Violy for help, who got a tricycle for us to go the clinic in the town proper. Aunty Olivia, who was living in the town proper came to help us. The doctor gave Daddy a tablet under his tongue and advised us to go the Dagupan City (we were living that time in Malasiqui, Daddy's hometown) where Hospitals were located. We asked for the town's ambulance so we can go to Dagupan. The ambulance was just a van with no aircon, with no oxygen, not even an emergency kit, I thought so, just a siren. So while we were in it, we kept on making Daddy cool by making card board/cloth as a fan coz he said he felt hot even all the windows of the van were wide open. We first brought him to Cuison Family Clinic, where the main doctor, we considered was our family doctor. Unfortunately, he did not accept Daddy coz he said his clinic (small hospital) had no ICU. We went to Luzon Medical Center. He was admitted and put him to the ICU. The nurse/doctor was asking what happened to him and what were his medications. Daddy answered them clearly and precisely. He was given oxygen and still complaining he couldn't breath coz he was feeling hot but his body was cold and he was sweating. The nurse put some baby powder to Dad's body so he would feel bit better and calm him down. The doctor talked to me in private and explained what was happening to Daddy. The doctor decided to put a hole in his throat and put the oxygen there coz obviously the oxygen put on his nose was not working. They called for the doctor who does that thing but that doctor said he couldn't come that time coz his child was sick and said he'll just do it in the morning as in maybe he was thinking of like 7 o'clock, I don't know. Anyway, my Daddy was a bit mad with me why did I leave him. I told him twas because the doctor talked to me and showed to me his X- ray result. Daddy held my hands hard, he could no longer talk coz the nurse was pumping oxygen through his mouth. I was feeling weak and thought, wished Uncle Willy, Daddy's brother, and a Medical Technologist, was there and helping us coz I couldn't understand those things in the monitor, where those different tubes in Dad's body, were connected to. I heard myself kept telling to Daddy to fight and that if everything will be alright, I and my kids will take care of him, even sacrificing not to go to Australia anymore. He said ,"yes". I was praying, but couldn't really concentrate praying. My brother left us, stayed outside the room and was crying. Then dad released my hand.
My brother cried, my Mom cried, but I didn't, I don't know why. I was just weak. Now I am telling my kids, if you're sad or if you need to cry, then cry. I was trapped for so many years after what happened to Daddy. It didn't make me strong, it scared me a lot! Many things happened in my life after that but deep inside me I felt I was still in that room/moment. I've seen how he suffered, how he fought for his life, how much he wanted still to live, but he had to leave...16 November 1994.
Six years before, Daddy had a medical check up in Makati Medical Center, where his younger brother, Uncle Willy was working as Medical Technologist. He was advised to have an operation in the gall bladder. But he was scared or rather anxious because we don't have money to pay for the operation. He just asked for medicine to ease the pain he was feeling. I don't know what happened but what I can recall is that he survived it and lived long enough to see my two boys, took care of them, play with them, sacrificed for them. He loved my kids very much from the moment I gave birth to them to his last breath. I will always remain telling this to my two boys so they will never forget their Lolo Romy coz they were only 4 and 2 years old when Daddy left. My father kept saying to us, his family, may will never forget him when he's gone. Request granted! How could we ever forget him...he died a day before my first son's birthday. My 2nd son was born on the 4th of March, and my 4th son was born on the 14th of March. And Daddy was born on the 18th of March.
Daddy was my teacher. Every school vacation, he was tutoring me on his expertise subject, Mathematics. Whenever I got bored listening to him, coz I wanted to play more than doing those lessons, he gets angry and I felt sad and cried. He never yelled at me though. But his words were hurting and yet you cannot hate him. Though he looked "scary" (as described by one of my cousins)and very strict person, he was very kind and loving person. Oh, strict?...yes he was! I won't forget my first Quiz in Algebra during my first year in University. I failed it! My Mom was very disappointed but Daddy comforted me and said he believed i can do it...the engineering course. He told me he wanted me to go to Mapua to study if only we had the capacity. Twas hard going to Manila University. There are many factors to be considered. Daddy was an Electrical Engineering graduate in Mapua Institute of Technology, then a Physics teacher in University Of Pangasinan High School Department.
Where did I get my skills in the kitchen/cleaning? I know now, I got it from Daddy. Though he was not cooking complicated dishes, but his taste buds were great. I love his adobong pusit. I memorized it and have passed it on now to my second son who loves calamari/squid. He used to make yummy tomato conserve. He was an excellent "farmer" in his small vegetable backyard. His vegetables were big and really good yet he never used insecticide, all organic. He lets me pick up his vegetables when they were ripe. I enjoyed eating tomatoes while picking them up. Whenever I wash dishes, I'm always reminded of Daddy. Especially washing the pitchers and the Catsup bottles, etc. before returning it to the fridge. Daddy cleaned them properly and gets mad if they were oily/slimy. I get frustrated if I clean my kids shoes and couldn't surpass or could not even equal my Dad's ability in cleaning/washing shoes. He cleaned/washed my shoes even I was already in University. And always perfect! When I clean, it's detailed, just like Daddy.
Dinner was my favorite meal time. Twas when we ate as a family together. Twas the time when we talked about the day's "adventures". I remember how Daddy would tell us funny real (not made up) stories and how we all laughed together. He used to tell us stories as well before we go to sleep when we were still young kids. Oh, Daddy used to feed me and my brother boiled rice mixed with raw eggs and sauteed shrimp paste for merienda and sometimes cold rice mixed with white sugar and coconut flesh. Weird?!...yes, but twas yum!
Daddy was always updated with the political events. He used to cut out clippings about unnatural issues/news. He always read the daily news. We used to watch the stars and moon at nights and will tell us stories about his father or his beloved hometown. He loved and respected his ten siblings equally and adored his mother. His father, Ireneo, died when he was in his late years in elementary education. He acted as a second father to his four siblings. He had other six siblings, resulting from the marriage of his mother, Nanay Leonor, to Laki Bening after Laki Ireneo died.
When sicknesses come to the family, Daddy led us in praying. He had a very strong faith to the Lord. He was a deacon in INC church. Later, when he was diagnosed with diabetes, he started to change. He became less happy, impatient, more sensitive, more melancholy. But whatever, I only wanted to remember all the happy moments me, my brother, my mother have shared with Daddy.
We may have said our Good-byes...until then...we will see you again Daddy!
✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮✿⊱╮
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